Awake
by Queen-of-the-Merry-Men
Summary: During the first curse Regina discovers something interesting about the man who runs the lumberyard, Robert Bowman. After spending time with him she has to make a risky decision. First curse-OQ.


Laying on her stomach, she softly lets out a slow breath as he runs his fingers down her bare back, lightly tracing the length of her spine. Her heart is still pounding and her skin is still warm against the sheets on her bed. His arm wraps around her waist, pulling her closer so she feel him against her back, pressing a soft, sensual kiss on her neck just below the end of her hair.

It'd been a risk waking him up while the curse still held. He could've been mad, he could've been furious and why wouldn't he be? She'd cursed him, she'd cursed his son. Ripped them from their home and brought them to this new realm. They'd stayed together but from what he'd said their life wasn't as full as it had once been. Allowing him to wake up, to realize what she'd done to him and everyone else in this town had been a risk… but she had to know.

Could it be real? Could they be real?

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxx_

It took her ten years to discover who he was. All the times he'd sat in her office, all the times they'd discussed his lumber business and which parts of the forest were up for grabs, she'd never known, she'd never imagined… but then she'd dropped her mug. Coffee had spilled all on the sleeve of his jacket and she'd caught a glimpse of his forearm when he'd shrugged it off. Seeing that tattoo was like being hit with a bolt of lightning.

After that she'd taken a closer look at him. Robert Bowman. He was a widower, one son, he owned a business, he didn't make a fortune but he did well-enough. He seemed… happy enough. At least that's what she tried to tell herself. That he was happy, ok, that the curse hadn't ripped everything away from him but deep down she knew that wasn't true. Robert Bowman didn't have friends, or family. Robert Bowman spent all his work hours in his office, staring at a screen, taking the occasional sip from a bottle of brandy hidden in the bottom drawer of his desk. Robert Bowman barely talked to his five year old, Ryan. He picked him up from school, made his dinner, tucked him to sleep and kissed his forehead all without saying more than five words. They didn't go the park, or the library or out at all. He followed the same routine, every day, in and out, all through the year, like a robot, like he… wasn't even alive. That wasn't happiness. She knew that.

She'd been the one to ask him to lunch. It was after one of their weekly meetings, the ones he never remembered after the week ended. His eyebrows had shot up in surprise when he'd heard her invite him to Granny's. She couldn't blame him for that. During their meetings she'd always been… curt, to say the least. A lunch date was certainly out of the blue but he'd said yes, which made her heart flutter for the first time in decades.

They'd talked over salad and a cheeseburger. She'd learned that he could be funny, witty even, when given the chance, which wasn't often. He was a gentleman too. Held open every door for her, made sure he walked on the street side of the sidewalk. All that old-fashioned chivalry that she would've rolled her eyes at before seemed amazing endearing coming from him. She realized that he was handsome too. She'd seen him before, of course, in town and in their meetings but she'd never really looked at him before. His blue eyes were incredibly expressive, they danced when he laughed. His smile was bright and contagious, it made wrinkles around his eyes when he grinned. She'd never noticed those things before. Those small, insignificant things that made her heartbeat skip and her breath catch in her throat. Things that made the emptiness inside her fade, even for just a little while.

Interacting with him changed things, at least for Robert. He seemed more alive, more real, than he had before. From what Sidney told her spoke more, to others, to his son. He ventured outdoors more, taking walks, accompanying Ryan to the park and the ice cream shop. He lived for a while. And that made her happy. Happier than she had expected.

The next week when he came in for their arranged meeting, she smiled at him.

In turn, he looked right through her.

His smile, his joy, it was wiped away. It took her only a minute to realize what happened.

Nothing changes under the curse. Everything resets.

She kept asking him to lunch. All through the next year, every time they met she'd ask him to Granny's. He'd say yes. She'd order a salad, he would order a cheeseburger. They would talk and for a brief hour she'd get to see him again. _Actually see him._ His smile, his laughter, his charm. The pieces of him that would only awaken when given reason to. They'd return. And it would continue again for the next few days. Until the reset button was hit and the time went backward, he'd come alive for her.

She'd watch him - talking with his employees, playing with his son, living a real life - and try to convince herself that it was enough. That it would be enough for him. Unfortunately, she'd never been that good of a liar, not even to herself.

She reached her limit on a Thursday, a year after that first lunch, two days since their weekly meeting. He'd walked into her office at the end of the day, catching her when she'd started to pack up. He'd asked her out to dinner and her eyes had widened in surprise. This was new. He'd never done this before. He'd never come back to her, sought out her company.

It was… unnerving. Yet, not unwelcome.

She'd said yes. They'd gone to the seafood restaurant by the docks, earning more than a few curious glances when people spotted their mayor out on what looked suspiciously like a date.

They'd clinked wine glasses, had steak and halibut, made each other laugh and smile. Sometime between when they walked in and walked out he'd reached across the table set his hand on top of hers. She didn't flinch when he did so, didn't even blink at his touch. She'd let him run his thumb over the back of her hand, lace his fingers through her own. She didn't mind. She welcomed it, relished it even. How many years hadn't been since someone had chosen to hold her hand? To show her even a smidgen of fearless affection? She didn't want to even think the answer to that question.

When he'd walked her to her door that night, he'd asked her for a second date. A trip to the park with him and Ryan… next week.

A lump had already formed in her throat by the time she nodded her head, he stomach in knots knowing that she was promising to show up to a date that would never happen.

He'd reached out to place his hand against her cheek, gently pulling her lips onto his and she'd melted into his kiss. Let him hold her close, pressing his chest against hers. She kissed him like it was the last kiss she'd ever have.

The next week she cancelled their meeting. It would've been too hard to see him and know that he remembered nothing of what transpired between them. She just couldn't do it.

She spent all day at her vault instead. Casting, brewing and then staring at a bottle of memory potion that could bring the real Robert back. Her soulmate. Someone she didn't even know but somehow cared for.

He deserved to be awake. She knew that. Had fought it, tried to work around it but the truth still struck her at every turn. It was not fair for him to be cursed. He deserved better.

But she was still scared.

She loved Robert Bowman. He was the first person she'd loved in years, the only person to have room in her heart since this curse began. The thought of losing him, even the little, temporary pieces of him that she'd managed to see every week terrified her.

What if she never got him back? What if the real Robert, whoever he may be didn't love her, didn't want anything to do with her?

Waking him up was risky… but she did it.

The next week instead of lunch she invited him to take a meeting at the mansion, early in the evening. She'd offered him a glass of his favorite brandy spiked with just enough magic to bring him back. Then she'd sat on her couch with a furrowed brow and watched the memories play across his face, as they roared to life.

He'd stared at her with wide, confused eyes as he remembered who he truly was.

 _Welcome back_ was all she could say.

He didn't give her a chance to explain. He knew who she was, knew what she'd done and at that moment he didn't want to hear her out. All he wanted was to get back to his son, the one she cursed. She felt in deep in her soul when he'd slammed the door on his way out. Her heart pounded in her chest as she sat on the couch, frozen in place, staring at the brandy stain on her carpet floor. Quite possibly the only thing she'll have to remember him by.

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

She didn't see him for days. She went to his house, by his work and her office, the school but she found no trace of him or Ryan. As the realization that he'd skipped town sunk in, she felt cracks violently run through her heart.

She went back to work and tried to bury her pain deep inside of her where it belongs.

It was only twelve hours ago when she'd finally seen him again, a sharp gasp escaping her when she walked into her home and found him sitting at her kitchen table.

"How the hell did you get in here?" she'd growled.

"Picked the locks," he'd sourly repled. "If you want to actually keep a thief out get a deadbolt."

Against her will, her left eyebrow rose, intrigued. "So you're a thief?"

He tilted his head. "Did you not know that?"

"I don't know anything about you," she softly admitted, setting down her briefcase. "Not the real you, anyway."

They'd stood on opposite sides of the kitchen table, both of them wary, sizing each other up. Her trying to figure out why he'd returned. Him trying to figure out whether or not he could trust what she said.

"What do you want from me?"

"Nothing," she breathed, shaking her head. Shifting in her heels, she tried to steady herself with subtle deep breaths. Gesturing, around the room, she added, "Clearly, I have everything I want."

"Then why am I here?" he bit out. "Why did you do this? Why did you wake me?"

"I don't-"

"Was it to punish me?"

"No!"

"Taunt me?"

"It wasn't like that!"

"Then what was it like?"

"I loved you!" The words fell from her lips, silencing his rant with their weight. She huffed, placing her hands on her hips and turning from him in an effort to hide the rush of blood that was surely swarming into her cheeks after her admission.

"I...I loved the cursed version of you," she whispered. "And I… couldn't watch him suffer any longer. And that is why you are here… and he is gone."

Heavy silence filled the room as he'd stared at her, his normally expressive blue eyes unreadable as he kept them on her back. She could feel him studying her, trying to determine whether she was telling the truth.

"Did you used to take him, or me, out to lunch?"

She turned to face him then, her eyebrows knit together. "You remember that?"

"A little," he softly revealed, nodding his head. "It's just… flashes." He swallowed, dropping his eyes to the ground. "Did Robert… love you?"

She pressed her lips together, gently shaking her head. "He didn't know me… no one in this town does."

" I think he did," he replied. "It feels like he did."

A sharp breath falls from her lips and she tries to not to let the smile tugging on the edge of her lips get away from her. Gripping the edge of the table she asks, "And you?"

He shakes his head at her. "Like you said I don't know you."

She bows her head in acceptance.

"But I… think I want to."

 _xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

His name is Robin Hood… and he knows who she is.

He knows her. She's allowed him to know her these past few months. Her powers, her history, the reasons behind who she is and what she's done. She's taken him to her vault and to her bed and he hasn't run from her yet.

On the contrary, he's fascinated with her. He can't stop asking questions, or soothing the hurt spots both outside and inside of her. He's not much different than Robert. He's a bit more restless, more animated and passionate. But he's just as kind, just affection and loving. He's fallen for her. Faster than he'd wanted to, more completely than she'd dared to hope for but it'd happened. He still loves her, cursed or not.

It was a risk waking him up… but she's glad she took it.

* * *

 ** _I hope you enjoyed this fic! Please leave a review!_**


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